Valentines Day and a Whole Lotta Catching Up

WOW it has been almost two years since I have posted. I started listing everything I was thankful for and never finished; what a disappointment. I could never run out of things to be thankful for; so I hope you don't think I was finished. School has been great, but working full time and going to school full time makes my time limited; so instead of writing my gratitude hopefully I have been sharing it with my family who rarely sees me. I have to write a few things about those that mean the most to me; first of all I have the greatest children a parent could hope for... Zachary, Ryeleigh, Rebekah, Christopher, and Porter... Soon to be one more. I love my children and hope they know that even though their dad rarely sees them or spends time with them that I love them very much and love being around them and the joy they bring. What a blessing it is to have wonderful children who are healthy, happy, and full of energy. This brings me to one of the most amazing people I know and have the pleasure of being a part of her life... My cute, witty, loving, endearing, charming, smart, funny, crafty, talented, beautiful, and pregnant wife. I don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful blessing as she has been to my life, but everyday I thank my Heavenly Father for sending me this wonderful angel. She is my strongest supporter, my most loyal soldier, my comforter, my conscience, my reality check, my best influence, my pick me up when I get down, and my best friend. I know she loves me because I was poor when we met and I am still poor today, but that doesn't change how she serves, treats, and talks with me. She is the love of my life, the one person who completes me, and the energy I need to keep going. I don't know where I would be without her, nor do I wish to imagine. She is selfless, sacrificing, ever giving, and the greatest companion a person could have. I wish her a happy Valentines day and all the love of my heart. She truly is my inspiration to succeed.

Blessings and Miracles 5

I like to think that I have so much to be thankful for that I cannot decide what to write about. While this is true it is not the reason I have not written them down. Two weeks ago I was blessed with a new son and while I am grateful and extremely blessed to have his little spirit here early he will not be the topic of my gratitude this week. As I have written before I am saving my family for later posts. I have been reflecting on many great blessings over these past weeks and the topic I have been contemplating for some time will be my next post. For now the birth of my son did bring a great blessing I have witnessed many times in my life and I decided to write about that this week. The blessing and miracle I am referring to is the Priesthood and Priesthood blessings. Perhaps because I grew up in a home where the Priesthood was exercised that I took it for granted growing up. However now that I am grown it sometimes becomes difficult for me to use this Priesthood power for anything but extreme circumstances. Growing up we received a blessing from my dad every year before school started to help us with the year, and in needed occasions. One of the highlights of my life was receiving blessings from my dad. As you may or may not know my dad was and still is my hero. I looked up to him for everything as he always had the answers I was looking for. He had a way to calm or correct me in any circumstance. His prayers and blessings always made me feel wonderful and full of the spirit. I became a member of this church and received the gift of the Holy Ghost under the hands of my dad and even though I cannot remember what was said I remember what was felt. Starting the school year every year with a blessing let me know that everything was going to be alright. Those of you who know me know that I do dumb things once in awhile in which I need to go to the emergency room. Well September, 1997 I managed to blow up a water heater in my face and was rushed to the ER. I was lucky and managed to have only first and second degree burns on my hands and face and even though I was wearing contacts they were un-affected. This is the first time I have been to the ER and got rushed right in (and I have been quite a few times). The pain was terrible as I felt like I was constantly on fire and could not quench it no matter how I tried. They hooked me up to morphine and while I had access to an excess it did not help. My dad arrived soon afterward and with the help of my brother Todd they administered to me and my dad blessed me that the pain would leave and I would be left un-scarred. This blessing came to fruition as the pain almost instantly left and I have no scars of that event. My brother Todd mentioned how blessed we as a family were that we had not had serious accidents or deaths of any family members. Three months later my dad passed away and that was the last blessing I received from him. It's hard for me to accept blessings without my dad being the vocal piece; yet I was ordained an Elder by my grandpa years before and I did receive a blessing from my bishop years later when I rolled my ankle (another blessing story). I am thankful to say that whether a blessing is given by the hands of my father or by the hands of another it is the same Priesthood that blesses and heals and comforts. Today as a father myself I give my children fathers blessings every year before school starts and more recently I was able to bless Porter. While I had faith that Porter who was born 5 weeks early would pull through and overcome the challenges that faced his new life my wife thought a blessing was in order. I guess I didn't see this as an extreme circumstance and knew the lord would bless him. I was reminded however that sometimes humility (another later blessing story) and gratitude for what we have is more important and because I have the Priesthood I can use it to bless and heal also. I may not be as wonderfully versed as my dad, but I took that little baby in my arms and blessed him that his Billy Reuben levels would drop and that he would be a great servant for his Father in Heaven. We took Porter to the hospital and even though his levels had climbed everyday, that day they dropped and continued to drop on his own. I know now that there is no situation where the Priesthood cannot be used, and we do not need to wait for an extreme event to exercise it.

Blessings and Miracles Week 4

I know this is almost a week late, but I have a good excuse I moved over the weekend and I am a bit tired. However that is no excuse for not posting so I decided to get this posted and then try to get back on schedule. As I was reflecting over the past couple of weeks about what I am thankful for I keep going to my childhood and how I was influenced for the better. There are a lot of things I learned as a child that I can definitely improve upon in my adulthood because I know better, but I am grateful to them nonetheless. One of the great blessings in my life is family home evening. Every week on Monday my parents would begin the unenviable task of rounding up children that did not want to be round up. What was the purpose of this task? to sit everyone down, sing, have prayer, a lesson, a scripture, more singing, family planning and sharing, more singing, and a prayer. This was usually followed up by dessert, and once in awhile family night would be in the form of a family game such as baseball. With 6 boys and 2 girls you can imagine the chore of getting everyone home, rounded up, excited about family night, and actually have them prepare lessons and such. The older the child usually the less enthused he was; I say he as it was usually the boys that had better ideas. Looking back now I see how much I grew from sitting with the family (even though I may not have been enthused about it then) and hearing about each others day as well as having a spiritual meeting to start the week. That spiritual meeting which lasted anywhere from an hour to two hours (usually an hour) prepared us for the week ahead and made us stronger and ready to face any challenges. Our family has always been really close and I thank the family home evenings for making us that way. It seemed so hard as a child to be a part of that experience every week even though we knew not to plan anything for Monday night and to be home to be with the family. As a father I can appreciate the experience that it gave me and how I would like my children to have a similar experience as they grow up. With so much television, electronic games, the Internet, and just worldly experiences children need a stable strength that will help direct them in time of need. We go to church every Sunday and that instills in them the gospel and strength within the church; each Monday we reaffirm that strength and our children can see that this isn't a once a week thing, but a lifestyle we believe and practice. Each week we give our time, our efforts, our knowledge, and our spirits to each other to strengthen and help one another. Because of this once a week activity I am stronger, more blessed, and have less doubt about my purpose here on this earth. I may not have all the answers, but I do know where to find them and for that I am eternally grateful.

Blessings and Miracles Week 3

I remember about 30 years ago I was jumping from bed to bed; now I knew this to be wrong yet I continued to do it with my older brother. Soon after the jumping commenced I missed the bed and landed on the corner of the bed frame with my leg. I started wailing at the top of my lungs as this hurt tremendously and then I did something I wish I hadn't, I looked at it. This sliced my leg wide open with the bone exposed and the muscle hanging out of a four inch cut (sorry for the graphic details) I screamed even louder as I thought I was going to die. My mom and dad came running up the stairs and immediately carried me down stairs; however we did not leave at this time we stopped in the family room, gathered the family around, and had family prayer. 22 stitches and a few weeks later I was fine, but the memory of that event has stuck with me my whole life. I try not to think of the disobedience, but the memory I have of my mom holding me while my father prayed is something I will forever be grateful. This part of my life is something I have greatly been blessed with and yet at times it has become one of my biggest weaknesses. The power of prayer and the ability to pray is something we have all been blessed with and given as a gift to help us through this life. My family instilled in me the importance of prayer at an early age and I remember family prayer every morning and every evening for as long as I can remember; what a blessing to know I can communicate with my father in Heaven at any time. Because I learned the value of prayer from an early age I was blessed with the miracle of prayer throughout my life. For example I wear contacts and have lost them on several occasions, yet because of prayer I have found them in the grass, under the seat in the car, and even in the snow. I firmly believe that when we prayed to be safe we were protected with a shield that watched over us; I was involved in two major accidents (almost head on) where each vehicle was totaled and even though I was not wearing my seat belt (I know right) I came away with out a scratch in one and stitches in my lip on the other. I had a water heater blow up in my face and had first and second degree burns on my face and hands and because of a blessing my father gave me I healed without a scar. On my mission I tracked into a lady because she prayed us there. Obviously I can go on and on with stories about my childhood and how prayer played an intrical part of my life; yet I would like to focus on what prayer has and continues to do for me today. My patriarchal blessing states to be prayerful unto your father in Heaven that he may know of what blessings I am in need of and pour them out to me. How great is that "ask and ye shall receive", yet even though I have been blessed with such amazing promises and have witnessed first hand the effects of daily prayer I have found myself sometimes too tired to pray or falling asleep as I pray and sometimes in too much of a hurry to pray. I was thinking about this today as I told Bekah I loved her and she did not respond; how often does our Heavenly Father tell us he loves us without us responding back. I know I can do better and I know I know better so I picked up a book called how to pray and stay awake, by Max Skousen. It is one of the greatest books I have read and I highly recommend picking it up and reading it. It talks about us having conversations with our Heavenly Father and not just talking, it also says we should pour out our whole souls as if our Father in Heaven is in the room with us because he is. It opened my eyes, because I know he listens and answers prayers yet how many times do we pray for help instead of praying for ways TO help. He is always there for us and wants us to succeed and be happy, but he is not opposed to us going through trials as this makes us stronger. He will not eliminate our trials, but he will give us the strength to push through and endure. He has blessed my life time and time again and has answered my prayers many times over; in fact some of the greatest prayers I have had answers to are the ones he simply said no. We are here on this earth to grow and to do that we must have trials, we must have opposition, and we must do this on our feet with out being carried through. Else why are we here? We are promised help, guidance, and strength if we but ask and it is not hard to ask; we knew this as a child when our faith was simple; we do not need to complicate things, simply swallow our pride and ask for He is always listening. Like the time my dog was missing for three days and I prayed for help to find him and then I went and searched; I put forth the effort and when I got home he was there. Heavenly Father answers our prayers and he knows what is best for us; sometimes the answer is no, sometimes the answer is yes, but we must always put forth our effort before he will put forth his. I know sometimes I forget that and reflecting this past week on prayer has helped me realize the miracle of this special gift.

Blessings and Miracles Week 2

The great thing about posting a blessing a week is it gives you an opportunity to reflect through the week on the many blessings you have. I knew what blessing to write about early this week because of this wonderful Mother's Day holiday; because of this I had the opportunity to think and ponder over how this blessing has affected and brought joy to my life. This week is a special tribute to mothers everywhere, especially the mothers in my family including sisters, sisters in law, grand parents, aunts, and recently a niece. I would like to focus however on the three mothers in my life that I think are tremendous and have brought an abundance of joy not only to my life, but to the lives they influence daily. While it seems the world is out to get the mother in law and most people do not fully appreciate their mother in law, I have an amazing mother in law that has overcome many of life's obstacles and continues daily to defeat the odds. When I think over her life it amazes me that she worked several full time jobs while attending school and raising four young children. She has proven time and time again that you can do anything you set your mind to and do it with a heart full of gratitude and cheer. Next is the mother of my life that raised me, nurtured me, healed the hurt, earned every Eagle Scout in the family (there were six), accepted everyone, and holds an abundance of love for every child she has ever encountered. The love of her life passed away just over ten years ago and despite the pain in her heart she managed to get a job (she hadn't had a job in over 30 years) to support herself, and continually manages to watch every grand child and great grand child on a weekly or monthly basis (there are 30). Besides all this I know she still goes to the cemetery and brings flowers and sits and chats with my dad on a weekly basis. She pushes forward and finds the joy and peace in her family even though she doesn't think she deserves it or is even worthy of it. This is my mother ever giving, and not wanting to receive. To these two women I wish a lifetime full of happiness, joy, and love and I say Happy Mothers Day!!! The third mother in my life is the love of my life and the mother of my children. While she is not "MY" mother she loves, cares for, and teaches our children. One of the great things about this woman is her ability to love and care; I have two children from a previous marriage which she took in as her own and loved and cared for them despite the challenge it posed for her. Tiff married into a family which a lot of people cannot do; she did and with love in her heart. We now have two beautiful children of our own with the third on his way and she is such a natural mother who cares so deeply and loves so freely I just watch her at times and smile. Tiffany has given up so much by putting up with my wanderings and searchings for a career and life lessons; yet she does it with a smile and a genuine care. I want to be better because of her and I want to succeed for her. She truly is my inspiration and the love of my life. She is one of the greatest miracles and blessings I could ever hope for. Happy Mothers Day my love...

Blessings and Miracles Week 1

I thought in this post I would list a few of the blessings I have had in my life and perhaps through the next several postings I could have them all down. I could put down my obvious blessings in this post (my wife and children) but most of you know them and what they mean to me; I will save that post for the end of this series. Years ago my grandmother told me I should write down the many miracles I have witnessed so that my children may know how I have been blessed. This is 20 years late, but I think the message will still be the same. Grandmother you are the inspiration for the next several posts. This first set of blessings in my life will be early in my youth and while I had a hand in (witnessed and notified a parent) rescuing a drowning child (younger than me) and prevented my father from sitting on a rattlesnake; these are not hero stories, but merely humbling and faith promoting stories. I have always been blessed with a closeness (belief) in the gospel; meaning I never questioned, doubted, or resisted the gospel. I think this is because of the belief of my parents and their unwavering faith. In 1978 President Kimball told my father to take his wife and kids and move from Hawaii back to Utah to be with their family. In 1979 my father sold his business told us we were moving and with tears and defiance from all of us we moved to Utah. You may wonder how this is a blessing; in fact I never thought of this as a blessing until I got married had a family and realized the sacrifice (financially) my father and mother went through to follow a prophet of God. In Hawaii we were living a comfortable life with a new home on the hillside and not a care in the world (or so I thought). Perhaps Hawaii wasn't the best place to raise children or there wasn't a lot of good influences; however that is not the point of this story. I never thought of us struggling as a child and my family never wanted for anything yet I never realized how hard my dad had to work to support his family until after he passed away. Money seemed to come easily to my dad and we lived a pretty comfortable life; after we moved to Utah the sale of his business fell through and my dad never did receive any of the money from that business. After that business deals fell through and people took advantage of him and his good nature. My dad worked hard for everything he had and he made us work hard as well. He taught us the value of hard work and what it means to raise a family. Following the prophet did not mean a comfortable life filled with riches and possessions, but it did mean a strengthening of the spirit and a closeness of the family unit which today continues strong. From this blessing I learned the value of doing what was right is more important then doing what is easy. Through hardship and struggle we find our greatest strengths and education.

Direction

Wow it has been awhile since I have posted and I don't want to upset my fans (Tiffany) who support me. I thought I would mention what is happening to me and my family in the next few months and also take a stroll down memory lane to give a little look at what the next few months mean to us. The year is 1991 I am graduating from American Fork High School with the intention of never going back to school... EVER! I tell everyone I am going to take a break and go to school when I get off my mission. The year is 1994 I am home from my mission and I still do not have a desire to return to school. Everyone (parents, friends, friends parents) tells me I need to go to school and my mind is too smart to let it go to waste. I am working for an auto parts store making minuscule profits and spending it all on ????? I do not know. Lets fast forward 11 years; it is 2005 I still have not gone to school, I have worked for over ten different company's and still I do not know what I want to be when I grow up. My wife and I decide to move to Oregon to be closer to her mother and I decided it would be good for me to go to school (go figure, I don't know where that came from). The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result; this was me and my life, I thought I had direction, but I was mistaken. Tiff's mom found some information of schools and I called the University of Phoenix and talked to a great councilor who helped me step by step get enrolled. If it wasn't for him and the easiness of enrolling I probably would have backed out. I decided to enter Accounting because it pays well and I love math and have been blessed with the joy of numbers. Fast forward two years; it is now 2007 I graduate with an associates in Accounting, I have a great job with a great product and I am meeting wonderful people; however my life is still missing something. I continue my education and pursue a Bachelor's degree in business and finance things appear to be falling into place and we are offered an apartment managing job making more money. We take the job and move in Jan. 2008. This is where things started to change; for the better? I think so. I heard a saying once that said whether you decide to do something and make a change or not the time is going to pass and where you are at the end of that time period is the difference of if you made that choice. When you look at an education it seems 4 years, wow that is a long time, but deciding not to go to school kept me doing the same non fulfilling jobs, and making barely enough to scrape by even though the 4 years came and came again and again. These last three months have been more eye opening and life directing then any other time period in my life. Three months ago I stepped away from Myomed as the Northwest is not growing as fast as they would like; however I still do the occasional show. This plus the new apartment job, and going to school set the stage for our direction. I couldn't find a job in accounting; at least not one that paid enough to live off of and I realized I really didn't want to be an accountant anyway. I looked at management positions, even auto body (it is an interest, perhaps a later hobby) however nothing seemed right. One day I am with my wife at the Dr's office and she is having an ultrasound and I had an epiphany "this is what I want to do" it felt right I was excited and I realized I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. Now all I have to do is find a school that teaches this. At first I thought I could take a course that lasted 6 months (there again with the hurry up and get it done attitude) but realized it was a two year course. Next was finding a school in Oregon and we couldn't find any; plenty in California and even Utah, but none here. We decided I would finish my bachelors and then move back to Utah and go to school out there. This is where perspiration turned to inspiration and divine intervention took place. 18 years ago I received my patriarchal blessing and was told to pursue my education that I may gain the truths of the earth and be able to find a vocation that would be meaningful to me. This was it I was not meant to sit behind a desk or to work a job I didn't enjoy, but to help people; this was what I wanted to do. All I had to do was go to school and I would have figured it out (put forth the effort) exercise faith by doing the work and then you will be shown (HELLO). Well through a series of small events we found a school in Southern Oregon, the Oregon Institute of Technology (OIT) and it turns out it is one of the top ten schools in the country for Sonography, wow have we been strategically placed or what. We went to Klamath Falls and walked around the school last weekend and spoke with a counselor. We applied and are awaiting news of whether we got accepted or not. The program is four years; first year is prerequisites, the next two are the course, and the final year is the externship which sends you wherever (your name is pulled out of a hat). I could go to Washington, Alaska, Montana, even the east coast; most of the schools are in Oregon however. Getting into the school shouldn't be hard, but once the prerequisites are done it is tough to get into the course which is why I am taking the prerequisites at OIT (better chances). Because the course is hard to get into you have two choices and I am applying for Diagnostic Medical Sonography, and Nuclear Medicine. I am excited for either and can't wait to start in the Fall. If all goes well we are looking to move the first of June and get to know our town and find a job that can help pay the bills. In four years I will have a degree with experience in my field and the school has 100% job placement within six months which is excellent. The time will pass whether I make this choice or not and I like the end results of where I will be after going to school. This is a big step for us and throws us out of our comfort zone; other than this move the only other time we stepped out of our comfort zone was when we moved to Oregon. This was a great experience for us and by stepping out again, we look forward to many more great experiences and blessings, but that of course is another story.

Making a Little Christmas Magic

While decking the halls and making the yule tide gay may not have similar meanings as originally intended there are some traditions that have survived, many that have changed, and many that have improved. As far back as I can remember there has been a tree that much I am certain. The tree has always been a pine tree; including several species of pine (Douglas Fir, Blue Spruce, Grand, Noble, etc) as well as appearance of said tree; short, tall, thin, fat, real, or live was a matter of preference. For my family when I was younger it was always a tall noble not too thin, and not too thick (gaps were acceptable). Today not much has changed for my own family; not too tall of a noble, not too thin, and not too thick (gaps are still acceptable). The change is in how the tree is harvested for years it was a tree lot; today in Oregon there are many U-cut lots and so we have started a new tradition in cutting our own tree. Next we move on to the lights; another grand tradition that has been around for as long as I can remember. A Christmas Tree was always covered in as many colored jeweled lights as possible in my earlier years. Lighting the tree always presented a challenge as hours were spent plugging in and trying to find the one bulb that caused the whole strand not to work; this of course was my job that I found exciting, challenging, and rewarding. Today our tree poses with a single color of white lights, and if a strand does not work it is thrown out and a new strand is bought; simplicity. After the lights the younger years showed strands and strands of tinsel in colors of red, green, silver, and gold. Today our tree is bare of such propaganda and poses no such garland. The decorations of years past were bulbs of glass or silk with larger bulbs adorning the bottom; as they ascended up the tree the size of the bulbs shrunk. Today there are but few bulbs on the tree and each ornament is a representation of our family and Christmases past. Finally the star on Christmas past was a spherical pointer that in no way resembled a star. Today our tree gracefully displays a simple five point star on top that is not lit. While the Christmas of years past have not changed much in the way of decorations; it was something I had to learn to accept. I think the hardest thing I had to come to accept was the loss of the tinsel and many colored lights. This was one my dads and therefore one of my favorite things. Our tree was so heavy laden with tinsel our tree could have shown without the lights. When I was first married to my beloved wife I was soon made aware that colored lights were out and tinsel was so 70's that it will never fly in this home. This was hard for me because tinsel and lights had become so much of Christmas that I did not realize what Christmas really was. Christmas is what you make of it for those you love; and this I mistook for tinsel and lights. Christmas to my dad was the happiest time of the year and he shared it with his family with bright lights and brighter tinsel. In many ways I am sure it was a small reflection of his childhood days. Christmas is about giving and taking, sharing and loving. Together with my wife we have created a Christmas that is a reflection of both of our childhoods as well as a reflection of us together. We have created some new traditions and have enjoyed many old traditions as well; we hope one day these will pass on through our children a reflection of us and what Christmas was in our home. I have come to know Christmas is so much more than tinsel and lights; as the true meaning rests in the birth of a humble child. This my father knew well and passed on to his children of which is now my responsibility to pass on to my children. Making Christmas fun helps to bring out the wonderful and true spirit of Christmas of giving and receiving love; taking a page from the one whose life we celebrate every December 25. I look with happiness at my green tree with white lights and no garland because I know that it is not the lights and the tinsel that makes the Christmas; but in the light of the eyes of your children that shines the true meaning.

We Choose Everyday whether or not to Live...

The word "live" reminds me of a conversation I had with my now beautiful wife Tiffany. We stayed up talking for hours on the responsibility of the partnership between a man and a woman. At one point in the conversation it turned to the ultimate show of love between two people; it was suggested that dying for someone has been the pinnacle of love for ages. After much thought on the matter we decided living for someone took more courage and showed more love than even dying. While it takes a lot of courage to die for someone and it does prove an ultimate sacrifice; living can be more difficult and harder to face at times. This became our theme and it was no surprise the "I will live for you" slogan surfaced on her wedding ring. To live is a choice we make every morning when we arise and every evening when we turn in. I now look at dying as not just the end of our physical life, but of our mental as well as our emotional life. Quiting or letting life control you is a means of dying and letting go. How we face life's challenges, whether to pursue or hold back on dreams, and the decisions that influence our lives brings us to the position of where we stand today. Every choice we have made in our life has put us exactly where we are currently. Continuing to make the same choices over and over will put us in an eternal circle which will spiral until we are no longer in control of our character. Shake things up a bit by choosing to live life to its fullest; look for the good life has to offer and reach for it. Take the challenges head on and let them teach and inspire you to improve daily; this will lead you to dream bigger, experience more, and overcome anything. Life is not about being led around and drifting aimlessly like a raft at sea. Life is about creating waves, changing your sails when the wind changes, and causing a little turbulence in your life. Life was meant to be experienced; it was not meant to be endured. Make a choice, decide where you want to go and find a way to do it. When given a choice between living and dying I choose to live every time...

If I could eat lunch with one

As I reflect on this subject I wonder how I could possibly fit just one person into my life that has more and means more to me than any other that I would consider them over another. The worldly side of me chooses the usual people I think most would want to invite; famous people and people with power such as Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie, Brad Paisley, Bill Gates, the President, etc. Then of course there is the religious side of me that chooses people such as the savior, prophets past and present, etc. While all of these are great ideas and would make for some great (and interesting) conversation I don't think I would follow this generalized pattern (even if Jessica Alba would have lunch with me). Some of the greatest people I know I am related to and some have even passed on; it is within this group I would make my choice. My dad passed away 10 years ago this December; I have missed him and his guidance tremendously and lunch with him would be both wonderful and welcomed. My mother lives over 800 miles away and lunch with her would be pleasant and delightful. My brothers are always fun to be around and make for a great time. My sisters are sweet and the company couldn't be better. With all of these choices however I must choose one and every time I am given a choice I choose my wonderful, beautiful wife. I know I get to go out with her all the time and I am with her everyday. We even have a special day (Thursday) we go out on a date once a week. She is my eternal companion who I love and who I want to be with forever. She completes me and my life and I put her above all others. Given a choice I will choose her always; this doesn't mean I would not love an opportunity to have lunch with the aforementioned people it just means if I have but one choice I choose her in my life every time.

Moderately Heavy to Comfortably Full

I guess you could take the word full and run with it in several areas such as full of @!#$#, or full tank of gas, no longer hungry, the house is full, and on and on and on... I would like to change the direction of full and compare it to our lives. When we come to this earth we have nothing and we are empty and ready to take on and experience everything life has to offer. As we grow we learn to walk, talk, read, etc. and this adds to our experience or our fullness. When we become teenagers we feel we are full and know all we need and send us out to the world; by the time we get into the world we realize we haven't even scratched the surface. In fact the older we get we realize the more we have been running on empty and how much we must catch up to try to fill our experiences. We work more, read more, play more, learn more, and still we can't fill up our fullness. This is life; we can not fill up our fullness nor can we expect to run out of things to learn and experience, otherwise we would shrivel up and become raisins. Most people that retire I believe leave this life early because they stopped trying to fill their fullness meter and gave up on life and its experiences. We must understand and know that we will never fill our fullness meter as its capacity rises as we learn; if we choose not to learn it drops along with our knowledge. We must be engaged in continuous learning and growing; we must press forward with a desire to gain all life has to offer. Did you know people can not take experiences and knowledge from you? Grab life by the horns, take control of your destiny, find the happiness along the way that will continually push your fullness meter up. In life you may get tired, you may get tied up, you can even get fed up, but you will never truly be full...

These are a few of my favorite... uh... Sounds?

When I was a child one of my favorite sounds was putting a sea shell to my ear and listening to the ocean; I guess not much has changed I still love the sound of the ocean however I prefer the live version versus the prerecorded Sunny (Sony) Seashell method. As I have grown I discovered many wonderful noises; the outdoors, a coyote howling in the distance (not as cute when it's right outside your trailer), the sound of a river even if it's a babbling brook, crunching snow underneath your feet, the wonderful sound of a fishing reel as a fish is pulling line out.... Okay put anything outdoors and I am in listening heaven. Sounds I enjoy on a daily basis are closer to home and bring more meaning to my heart; when I come home from work and my kids come screaming "daddy" and grab my leg, and even better still when my children tell me they love me. The sound of my beautiful wife's voice makes me calm and always brings a smile to my face; brings truth to the lyrics "there is beauty all around when there's love at home". There is no happier sound then peace at home and in the heart; you can not beat the calmness of the heart and the quiet solitude of love. Whether we hear sounds, or whether we live in a world of silence; peace is an amazing sound that stirs the soul. Two people that brought peace in my life will always be an influence to me; I still love to hear my mother say "Chaddy how are you doing pal"? and I will miss how my dad would call me "Chaddy Buck". I do know that sounds are connected to feelings and when a sound has true meaning we feel it deep within us and we are not just hearing we are experiencing.... this crazy, wonderful, emotional, absolutely amazing life.

Nicholas Handle AKA Nicknames

There sure are a lot of names out there that do not belong to people or that did not originally start out with the person they are now attached. Have you also noticed a nickname that is okay for one person to call you may not be appropriate for others. For example my dad called me chaddy buck and sometimes just buck; now my friends called me buck and that was acceptable, however when a cute girl called me chaddy buck I didn't think that was cool because I figured she was treating me as a little kid. My mother called me several names and I am sure more that I never heard. Chaddy is one of her most used; and then of course there is dear and precious all those manly names you grow up with. I have been called chaddy waddy doodle all the day, cheddar, the chad, little foot (long story), hewy, pumpkin bum (my sweet wife), and several other just as embarrassing names my wife can come up with. Her current favorite is idiot. I like a dog will answer to pretty much any of them, it pretty much just depends on the tone of the voice calling me. Of course if there weren't any nicknames I don't think most of us would be called anything at all.

Delighted, Delectable, and Delicious

You say the word delight and I think of the song "Dixieland Delight" by Alabama, or the new delight sauce by Papa Murphy's (Delicious). Of course delight is to be happy or surprisingly pleased. It almost sounds as if delighted is a word that was created by a wealthy land owner that did not want to commune with the commoner and created his own vocabulary to prove he was better. However it came about it has stuck through the years and I am sure we will see a lot more of it. When I think of delighted I think not of a person who is happy, but of someone who was expecting to be disappointed and by some stroke of luck was "delighted" by the outcome. I don't know if I have ever been delighted by that definition except perhaps by a movie I didn't want to watch and by some force of hand watched it and was pleasantly surprised to find myself enjoying it. I think to be delighted is to always find yourself surprised to experience happiness; perhaps instead of being delighted we can find ourselves deliriously happy and always expecting to find happiness. Then again perhaps being delighted is always finding everything to be pleasing and I am just delighted to have finished this post.

Where I live there are rainbows...

So now I am writing according to two sources. One the word of the week and two the challenge of the week put forth by my beautiful wife. "If I know what is good for me I will participate" actually my wife did not threaten me, but I know when I am highly encouraged. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of where I live is a song I learned when I lived in Hawaii called the Hawaiian Lullaby. "Where I live there are rainbows with life in the laughter of morning and starry nights. Where I live there are rainbows and flowers full of color and birds filled with song. I can smile when it's raining and touch the warmth of the sun I hear children laughing in this place that I love. Where I live there are rainbows with life in the laughter of morning and starry nights". I learned this in kindergarten and never have forgotten it. I guess where you live and how you view it depends on your attitude and perspective of it. Of course I lived in Hawaii where there were rainbows, children laughing, birds filled with song, beautiful flowers, and starry nights. I was a child then, but I believe children understand this no matter where they live. Is this why our childhood holds such fond memories because of how we perceived our lives then as to now? We must not forget that marvelous spirit of youth that teaches us no matter what, there are flowers that bloom, rainbows after every storm, crystal starry nights, and yes children laughing. "There is beauty all around when there's love at home"; this is the staple to happiness and finding joy in your surroundings. Where I live now does not matter as much as what I do now to make where I live now as happy and full of life as when I was in my youth. Take in the little things that make each moment special. Do not overlook the beauty God has created in any and every form. Just as each person has a special unique quality about them; so does each place of residence and every corner of earth. Enjoy the wonders that make your home special; a smiling face, a beautiful rose, a quiet brook, a field of grain, rugged mountains, the ocean, a forest, a desert, and I could go on and on. As children we see these things and explore them to try to learn and understand them. Once adults we either think we know enough or we no longer care to learn. Take advice from a child and feel a rose for the first time, pick up a rock to study its beauty, collect a leaf and place it in a book, play in the dirt or get muddy, take chances, and don't be afraid to dream. There are endless possibilities to what you can find in your own backyard; use a little imagination. I hear "life in the laughter of morning" and I know this is where I live...

Believe

What do I believe? I believe the 13 Articles of Faith the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints puts out. I believe there are angels among us (and not just an Alabama song). I believe we create our lives and we decide how we are going to live. I believe Topher can climb anything he wants and Bekah can get anything she wants. I believe Zach can accomplish what ever he sets his mind too and Ryeleigh (as sweet as she is) isn't as sweet as she is. I believe my wife Tiffany is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I believe I have the greatest brothers and sisters in the world. I believe my parents to be perfect and anyone who tells me otherwise will get an earful. I believe simplicity is key to happiness and knowledge is key to understanding and salvation. I believe I can be a whole lot better than I am but I know I am pretty good. I believe I have a lot to learn, but I also know I have learned a lot. I guess I could go on forever on this subject; perhaps write a book about what I believe. Belief is something you do, and it is something you feel. To have a belief is not just to have faith in something it is to know for yourself that it is real; it is that inner connection into your spirit that attaches you to the world around you. I believe alcohol is bad; have I had it? No, but I have seen the results of it in the lives of people around me. I don't have to try, use, or even participate in something to know if it is something I will put my beliefs in; that is the beauty of believing. I believe in God because I know this world did not just explode into existence. These are my beliefs and no one can take them from me; they are mine, I may share them but they always stay with me. Sometimes believing in something is all you have in your life and it is that belief that will carry you through until you are able to gather more legs to stand upon. Hold on to your beliefs; share them with whom you will, do not let them fall by the way side. No one else has your exact beliefs; yes there are similar beliefs out there, but none quite to your specifications. You are unique, you are special, and you created these beliefs. Take control of your life and start believing more, find people, places, and ideas to believe in. Use these beliefs to create more and soon we will become a believing people. People can change all we need to do is believe....

Gone

It is kind of funny, but when I hear the word gone I think of the song by Willie Nelson "To all the girls I've loved before...". Better yet perhaps I think of the things I use to have when I was younger and no longer possess (Jeep, truck, youth, energy, time, carefree, no bills). Maybe I miss my vast knowledge and wisdom I knew I had when I was younger and now I can't seem to find. Perhaps greatest of all things gone is the man I wanted to be when I grew up, my Dad. There was the man I idolized as a child, the man I thought walked on water, and the man who always had time to sit me down and ask how my day was. He always had the right thing to say even if it was wrong it was what I needed to hear and I knew he was always telling me the truth. He could get me out of a jam and was always there to catch me when I started to fall. He never tired as he slept maybe four hours a day due to his work around the world. No matter what his mood his phrase which became mine was "I am fine" when asked how he was even if he was sick in bed. This was the man I knew would never die and would always be around to get me out of a tight spot. We were living on a tropical island as a family and my dad was a man who started out successful in everything he set out to do; we were living the dream and a prophet of God told him to take his family home to Utah. My dad without hesitation picked up and moved back; from there on my dad struggeled to keep his family fed, the bills paid, and his work successful. We never went without food, we had all a family could hope for; we just never flourished as we did on that island. My dad never regretted that decision and never showed a doubt in his heart. I have seen and been part of miracles because of my dad and his priesthood blessings; I have heard stories of many people who knew him of his kindness and giving nature. Let me tell you of a story of a 16 year old boy who thought the world revolved around his dad and how he came to appreciate how his dad didn't revolve around the world. Remember the truck I mentioned earlier? Oh how I longed to drive that truck; it was a 79' Ford F250 extended cab long bed with Automatic transmission, four wheel drive, air conditioning and a 400. Oh I loved that truck and there was one problem, my dad kept a camper on that truck; he did this for two reasons, one to keep his kids from driving it and two so it wouldn't get ruined and he could use it to go camping or hunting with his boys. I begged and pleaded for weeks and weeks to get him to take the camper off so I could drive it and he did; for some reason he thought I was more responsible than his other boys? (I doubt it) The camper was off for maybe a week and it happened; June 08, 1989 (I remember this day because it was my sisters birthday and the day of my brothers wedding) I wrecked my fathers truck; totaled it. I couldn't believe it I was uninjured, but thought I was doomed to be killed as I destroyed the one worldly possession I knew my father cared about. Little did I know how great my father truly was and how wrong I was; my father grabbed me and held me tight and held up my hand and said that little pinky right there is more important to me than that whole truck. I couldn't believe it that was all that was said to me about the matter and the subject was closed. I love my dad and this year on December 02, marks the tenth year since his passing. I know I can never live up to his greatness and I have so much to learn to even compare to his knowledge of religious as well as business matters, but I know that his being gone has changed my life. I have learned I do not know everything, but I can find the answers, take care of your worldly possessions, but do not let them take care of you, let go of the pain of the past and embrace the newness that is today, let go of the anger that can build and remember that everything is fine. Do not ever quit no matter how hard your trial, love your enemies, keep pressing on when others are pulling you back. Visit or call your mother often and let her know you love her, show your children you love them with your time, kiss your spouse often, always uplift her, and talk highly of her to your peers. Perhaps one of the greatest lessons learned is pray often, pray sincerely, and have faith the Lord hears and answers your prayers. Of all the things that are gone from my world; the most important are the ones that created happiness in my life. While I did have happiness driving that old Ford and that old Jeep, my life is not fulfilled because of it. I have loved more, and argued less because of the physical person that is no longer with me; yet because I carry within me his spirit he is no longer gone....

To be Perfect

In today's society there isn't a strong push to stand up for what is right; instead the direction is moving towards accepting your weaknesses and giving in to your temptations. Morality has become a thing of the past and the sacred union of marriage is being threatened. To the world perfection has thus become the image of a muscular man or slender woman; perhaps the movie star with the glamorous life or the wealthy land owner with riches worth coveting. Not long ago a man giving a sermon on the mount gave us the true definition of what perfection truly is; "be ye therefore perfect as your father which is in heaven is perfect". And again on the American continent he stated to the Nephites "be ye therefore perfect as I or your father which is in heaven is perfect". Even though we believe this man to be perfect from birth Christ considered himself imperfect until he accomplished all his father asked; when speaking to the Nephites he had accomplished all and knew his perfection therefore stating it in his latter sermon. How do we know when we have achieved perfection? Is this something that we can attain in this life? Perfection is as it implies, flawlessness in every aspect of every fibre of our being. Achievable, of course through the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ. Suppose you lived a flawless life, a perfect, giving, teaching, and unspotted life; you still have an imperfect body: one that gets sick, injured, and can pass on to the next life. Perfection is the entire existence of you soul, your heart, might, mind, and strength; in essence your body. Perfection isn't something we are to look at as unattainable in this life however; we can and must be perfect in that which we can perfect in ourselves. For example we can be perfect in our tithes and offerings, we can be perfect in our home and visiting teaching, we can be perfect in our church callings and attendance, and we can be perfect in study and prayer. There are things we can control; after all we were sent here to learn to control a worldly body with a spiritual soul. Complete opposites trying to push and pull one another in the right direction. Perfection does not happen overnight, and it does not happen when you are converted; perfection is something that happens everyday, every hour, every minute, and every second. When we choose to follow our spirit instead of our mind, when we choose to listen to the still small voice instead of the TV, when we choose to read our scriptures instead of play video games, when we decide to pray before giving in to temptation that is when we are truly growing toward perfection. That is when our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are closest; that is when perfection becomes attainable and the world behind us gets quieter. Stand up for what you believe in and "be ye therefore perfect as your father (and his son) which is in heaven is perfect". "Be Believing", and "Be of Good Cheer" perfection is but a saviors grasp away. Grab hold and never let go.

Becoming Pure

The word of the day is "pure" and I thought this was fitting as I have been wanting to write something about my children the last few days. When I think of them I think innocence or in other words purity. In my opinion children are the root cause of feeling every emotion in an instance. There is no other person you want to laugh at and hold more then the little one you are disciplining right at this time. There is also no other person that will give you a hug and a kiss immediately after you scold them. I have noticed in my life that it takes one word (Whether intended or not) to upset someone; whereas it takes many words (usually intended) and sometimes many days to make up for that one word. Why is it we are so quick to anger and yet so slow to forgive? If we are the ones that get angry after one word we should be the ones to forgive after one word; this is something children have naturally until we teach them otherwise. Jesus taught we must become as a little child; yet we tend to get children to become more like us. When we become as a little child this means we are to inherit or ingrain their wonderful qualities into us; such as humility, teach ability, forgiveness. Children are the essence of purity because they are slow to anger and quick to forgive, they accept what ever we tell them without question, and they love unconditionally. My children have taught me to love more, to forgive often, and to look for the good in everybody. If we as a grown up nation quit acting childish and start acting as a child we will have more unity, more love, and more peace. We will be more pure and in essence have become as a little child.

Inspiration or Perspiration

So yesterday was my inaugural journey to health or achievement or perhaps stupidity; whatever it may be, it has started and I created it. I set a goal for myself that I wanted to accomplish; however it came with a catch... I wanted to accomplish something I never thought possible growing up or I never envisioned myself ever doing. This all started after listening to "The Secret" and other self help motivational tapes; I thought I will push my body to do something I never dreamed to see how much control I have over myself. My first idea was to become Mr. Olympia... after my wife laughed at me for what seemed an hour (personally I think she is still laughing at that), I decided that maybe that is something I didn't want to do (besides what would I do with all those rippling pectorals). I decided to do something I disliked; not only disliked but haven't done in sixteen years. My goal is to run a mile in four minutes; while my wife did not laugh at this one I have had plenty of people tell me it will be tough, but good luck. I don't think I ever ran the mile in less than eight minutes and that was in high school when I was in better shape and had age on my side; but yesterday I found myself running my first mile on this crazy journey. My wife loves to run and the people that run for fun I have never understood what they see in it; I was always a sprinter and good for short distances but never enjoyed anything more than 200 yards. As I was running yesterday I waited for inspiration to come and the funny thing was it never did just my breathing getting heavier and heavier. I ran my first lap in 1:44 which I though was pretty good considering 16 years of silence; I completed my mile in 9:42 which averages out to 2:35 a lap. Of course if I ran the third lap it would have been quicker, but I would not be writing this now as I would still be on the track. Overall my first run was satisfactory as I was hoping to get in under ten minutes; at least now I have something to work for. I don't know how I am going to accomplish this, but I do know as I put out the perspiration the inspiration will follow and I will find myself closer and closer to the finish line.